Pursuing Balance & Joy

How Do I Want To Feel?

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

Hello!

There has been so much going on in my life lately. Work has been crazy, but I feel just great about the way I’ve been hanging on to my diet and exercise plan. I weighed in today at my lowest weight ever–149.0. I’ve stayed under 154 pounds for every single weigh-in in the last two weeks. I feel just fantastic.

I’ve set my workout goal at 6 hours a week of cardio plus two weight-lifting sessions. I met that goal last week and actually exceeded it the week before. I’m realizing that by working out this much, I can really eat and drink just about anything and still maintain my weight. That’s not entirely true, I know, but I can eat and drink at levels way above my “normal” diet.

I am, of course, one of those people who is just never satisfied. With the realization that I’ve reached this point where I can eat and drink way more than “normal” and still maintain my weight came another exciting realization. If I really watch my diet again, I should be able to drop a few more pounds fairly quickly.

Hmmm. So what do I really want?

I’ve put a lot of thought into that question. The answer I come back to over and over again is that I want to feel a certain way…or really a few certain ways. I made a list (in no specific order):

• Strong
• Energetic
• Positive
• Fit
• Smart
• Funny
• Respected

So when I am faced with a choice, the question I should ask myself is which option makes me feel one or more of the things on my list. Life is actually that simple, right? Oddly enough, I think it is.

Here’s my dilemma…if you can call it that…I do really well with making choices that support my goals in terms of my diet and exercise most of the time. I couldn’t have lost 85 pounds in the last year and a half if I didn’t. However, I don’t do well with making choices that support my goals in terms of my personal and professional life. I can. I know I can. There have been times in my life that I have. Starting now, I’m going to be in one of those times. I have recently been letting people and events affect me that shouldn’t. I’ve been reacting to things instead of making a conscious choice that supports my goal. That hasn’t been working out for me so well. Duh. It’s time for me to fix that. I know who I want to be. I want to be the person on the inside that goes with the body I’m building. That sentence makes me smile.

I’m out of here tonight…it’s time to get some sleep.
Night-night!

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