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Archive for June, 2010

My Brain Is Still Fat

Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Hi, friends!

If you’ve been here for a while then this won’t be news, but if you’re new, brace yourself: I can be a little bit crazy. I’m very aware of this. I try not to be, but it happens. Today’s topic falls into that a-little-bit-crazy category.

My brain is still fat.

I am 5′ 2″. I wear anything from a size 4 to 8 depending on what it is. (Yes, you can hate me if you want. I worked hard to get from a 24W to this size so I get it.) I’m little. Everyone tells me so.

However…

My brain is still fat. When I look in the mirror, I see the over-200-pounds girl I used to be–A LOT of the time. I still FEEL like I’m a big girl–A LOT of the time.

Do you have any idea how frustrating that is? UGH!

I also respect that it isn’t just frustrating to me. It’s frustrating to my awesome boyfriend, who I frequently don’t believe when he tells me I look pretty. It’s frustrating to my kids, who struggle with their own weight and have watched me change mine. It would probably be frustrating to my friends if I let myself admit it to them. Oh and I know it’s frustrating to the other shoppers in the plus-size section when I wander in there and then realize I don’t “fit” there anymore. (Seriously, I would NEVER to that to offend anyone. I really am just that nuts at times.)

So how do you get over your brain being fat?

I wish I knew. It’s better now than it was a year ago. So maybe time is the answer. Maybe it’s the writing that helps me realize a little at a time that I am not a big girl anymore. Maybe it’s having gotten rid of all my clothes along the journey because that tells my brain that we aren’t going back. Maybe it’s that I’m starting to identify with athletes (a very cool realization indeed!). Maybe it’s a combination of all those things.

I don’t know. I just know that sometimes, even now, my brain is still fat. I’m working on it.

Have you changed something in your life that it took you awhile to grasp? Have you grasped it? How?

Have an awesome today!

Posted in Everyday Life | Comments Off

One Week of Meatlessness

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

Hi, friends! Today marks one week in my new meatless world. I’m excited to tell you that I have been happily surprised by it, for several reasons.

First, let me start by telling you that if someone had suggested at any prior point in my life that I’d become a vegetarian, I’d have laughed them out of the room. I like meat. I could live on cheeseburgers. Oh wait! I did live on cheeseburgers; that’s how I got to weigh 200+ pounds for most of my life. Duh.

This week has surprised me because it’s been EASY! Don’t get me wrong; it hasn’t constantly been simple. Actually, it wasn’t simple a couple times just because making a restaurant meal without meat has required a little thought on occasion. However, it has been really easy for me. It’s felt natural. I feel healthy and strong and awesome.

Another piece of awesomeness? I feel like my body isn’t working to digest meat. Ever. I never realized that my body was working all that hard to digest meat until I stopped making it do that. Now, I can tell you that it’s been working hard at that my whole flippin’ life. (Note to body: if you’d let me KNOW these things sooner, I could help you out. Just sayin’.)

I won’t even try to tell you I’ve had a week of awesome, healthy food choices. I haven’t. All throughout my weight loss journey, I have practiced changing one thing at a time. My priority is always not to overwhelm myself. Thus, when I decided last week to stop eating meat, I decided to only stop eating meat. (However, I did research and look at my diet to make sure I was getting enough protein, carbs, and fat. I absolutely believe I’m doing okay.)

What I didn’t do though was drastically change the other things I’m eating. I haven’t gone all whole foods or anything…yet…

I say yet rather jokingly. At this moment, I don’t see me doing that. I do want to eat more vegetables. I don’t eat enough of them. I love them, so I can’t really say why I don’t eat enough of them. I just don’t. I think that will be a good next thing for me to work on in my diet, but in the interest of doing one thing at a time, I’m not jumping on that right yet.

On the exercise front, I feel fantastic! I took a few days off in the middle of last week because I wasn’t sleeping and finally just had to let myself relax. I am happy to report I’m sleeping again so Saturday I started working out again. I ran/walked (mostly walked) an hour Saturday. I climbed 71 floors in 15 minutes Sunday followed by 30 minutes on the treadmill. Monday, I ran 55 minutes! That’s my longest run ever without stopping to walk. This morning, I climbed 74 floors in 15 minutes followed by 15 minutes on the treadmill.

The best part? I. FEEL. AWESOME!!!

I have definitely become one of those crazy people who enjoys running. That Monday morning run felt so great. Not only did I last longer than ever, I ran faster than usual too. I averaged around 10 minutes a mile, which is phenomenal for me. I didn’t feel like I was pushing myself too hard either. I just felt great.

Do I attribute the exercise improvements to my new-found meatlessness? Actually, I think I do. I have felt so much better physically this last week. I’m certain the meatlessness (which is totally my favorite new made-up word) is a big part of it.

So…what’s the bottom line of a week full of meatlessness? I feel great, and I have energy through the roof! Is it for everyone? Of course not.

What one thing could you change in your diet to give you more energy? Are you doing it? Why not?

Make your today awesome!

Tags: Vegetarian
Posted in Diet, Exercise | Comments Off

Eating for Mental Reasons

Thursday, June 24th, 2010

Hi, friends! How is your today going? I wish I had an awesome story to tell you, but honestly, I’ve had a rough week. I’ve had trouble sleeping the last couple weeks, and this week it really caught up with me. I haven’t worked out in the morning for 3 days in a row now. Ugh! I did walk both Tuesday night and last night so it’s not like I haven’t done anything. I just haven’t done what I wanted or intended to do.

I have a couple plans for fixing that. One is a set schedule. I did this once before, and I know that being in bed by 9:00 each night is what I need. I am one of those people who really needs 8 hours of sleep a night. I applaud the people who can function with less. I’m a little jealous of them really. I am simply just not one of them. I need 8. No exceptions. When I want to stay up later, I need to remind myself that I’m worth too much to skimp on sleep.

The other thing I want to do is to eat differently. I’ve been considering different “diets” for some time now, and I haven’t been able to decide on anything. Then I stumbled across the No Meat Athlete. That was Monday. I was on board instantly. I can’t explain it, but the whole idea of not eating meat appealed to me immediately. The funny this is that if you had suggested I become a vegetarian, I would have laughed at you. Seriously. I’ve always thought I didn’t understand those people.

However, once I started reading about it, I realized this is me. It’s not about animals for me like it is for a lot of people. Maybe it’s not about animals for that many other people either. I don’t know. I just know that isn’t what spoke to me. What spoke to me was the idea that I can fuel my body in a better way and still work out with the intensity I expect from myself. Cool concept.

Today is day 3 of being meatless for me. I can say that I physically feel pretty good. I’m not in any way missing meat. I haven’t eaten 100% healthy (or even close to it). I also haven’t weighed myself because I know the scale is going to tell me what I don’t want or need to hear right now. I do know that I need to make life a little less about that number and a whole lot more about how I feel. Getting back to my pattern of sleeping and working out is priority number one.

I’ve decided to give my new meatless self at least a month before I decide if it’s for me. I’ll keep track of my workouts and how I feel and see how it goes. I’m not committing to never eating meat again, although with all I’ve read this week, I won’t be surprised if I do commit to that by the end of this test-month.

Here is the true bottom line for me: I’ve learned to work out for mental reasons; I need to learn to how to eat for mental reasons.

I know; I know. Most people are trying to learn how to NOT eat for mental reasons, right? Well, no. Most people are trying to learn how to not eat for emotional reasons. So am I. My reasons for working out are both mental and physical. My reasons for eating need to be that too. Why did it take me so long to figure this out? Sheesh.

Seriously though, this whole journey of losing the weight and now trying to keep it off has been just that–a journey. Some things have been easier than others, and I can honestly say that food has been the most difficult for me. Will going meatless help? I don’t know. Am I willing to find out? Absolutely!

What are you willing to do today for you?

Make your today awesome, friends; you deserve it!

Tags: Sleep, Vegetarian
Posted in Diet, Exercise | 2 Comments »

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